Yes, it's true. I've given birth to a mountain lion.

Hello from the land of Please Don't Put Me Down Ever Ever Ever Or Else I Will Scream Until The End Of Eternity.

This little dude growls like some kind of grunting cat. It goes on and on and on. Both my husband and I were told by our moms that we were "easy babies" that hardly cried or fussed at all, followed by being quiet and obedient sweet toddlers, so where did this growling little bobcat come from? Did I eat too many mangoes or something during my pregnancy? It's okay little Simba. I still love you.

From the land of the ridiculous and dumberer...the Baby Bullet

Okay, let me first say that I love gadgets and cool appliances. I sometimes get suckered into late night television infomercials and have been known to occasionally whisper to my husband, "Honey...are you awake? Hey. We need one of those...Look at this thing..." So don't hate.

But - I have issues with the Baby Bullet. What does it do that an immersion blender and some recyclable plastic storage containers cannot? Oh wait - I know. They can't SMILE AT YOU. Because the Baby Bullet and its components all have happy faces printed on them, much like the Kool Aid Man. Everyone knows that baby food is just of a higher quality when it was made in an appliance with a face on it, right?

The short commercial also has spokesmothers who are so easily impressed and dull, that they must apparently need the happy face painted onto the belly of the blender, because certainly it's not on there to invite an infant or a toddler to handle a sharply-bladed electrical appliance (at least I'm hoping, anyway, yikes).

Here's what vapid, upspeaking valleygirl spokesmodel #2 (who follows the over-enunciating brunette with the giant teeth) says during the commercial:
"And the best part of it is that you have the little dial...???
And you can...ummm...put the little date on it...???
So........you know when it's good until...."

Yes, she ended her sentence like that, with the word "until" (nice). And for her, the "best part" is not how incredible and efficient the appliance is at making food for her growing infant, but that the containers have the little dates on them. (Did I mention that she sounds like she is on animal tranquilizers?)

The commercial never actually says how much the Baby Bullet costs. It just offers a free 30-day trial. WHAT? As if there weren't enough red flags already hemorrhaging out of this commercial, if this isn't a red flag - well then, I don't know what is.

And now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

Hunter and Gloria

My 2 Men

And the award for inappropriate coincidence of the day goes to.........

ME, for pulling up to a shopping mall street corner with Tiny Tim's "Livin' in the sunlight, lovin' in the moonlight" playing on my cd player, with the kids in the backseat, as a homeless man stood there begging for money and food.

Right as we pulled up to the red light and the homeless man stared right into my eyes, holding up his ratty cardboard sign in my direction, Tiny Tim sang, "Things that bother you never bother me..."

It made me feel awful, even though that man didn't hear us.
Actually, things that bother him really bother me. A lot.

Aaaaaaaaaand................I'm back.

I totally forgot that I had this blog.  I went to create one, and tried to use the name "the-angry-kitten," only to find that some biyotch took it!  Unavailable!  Boo!  Grrr!
Great, so who uses my other pseudonym, and should I create another web name...because lord knows we don't have nearly enough usernames and passwords to keep track of, right?

I went to see who it was.  It was me.  Oops.  I forgot I signed myself up a few years ago.

Luckily, I serendipitously logged in to the account before my blogger name was taken away permanently by the Blogger police during their archival cleanup, which will happen in a couple of weeks.

And this is why I am Time Girl.

It was only a matter of time...

So far, there are at least 7 other girls on the web that use my webname. I can't say that I'm not slightly disappointed, but I knew that this day would come.